Today on “This Old Phallus”, we’re going to show you how to build your own huge John Thomas. This giant wood pecker stands erect at 96 inches. Here a couple of things to keep in mind:
- Have a healthy supply of wood. All pieces should be smooth, long and easy to wrap your hands around.
- Make sure you’re using material that will hold up to repeated jerking movements.
- Make sure wood can be inserted between four walls. In our case, the walls are black, but any shade will suffice.
- After cutting your twig and two berries, be careful when sanding the edges. Nobody likes a pricked finger.
- Hold and drill as many times as possible. Don’t get too overzealous! Be gentle at first. If you go hard, you’ll be asked to go home.
- Men must be secure enough with themselves to touch a phallus, particularly when it is bigger than their own.
- All are welcome! Many hands make light work.
Come see This Old Phallus and more when Lysistrata plays at HITW 11/13-12/5.