The Trouble With Space Cannibals

By Bill Arnold and Scott Stephen Kegler

Directed by Scott Stephen Kegler

Performance Dates: May 22nd, 23rd, 29th, 30th, June 5th, 6th, 12th & 13th at 8:00PM, May 31st & June 7th at 2:00PM
Audition Dates: March 15th & 16th at 7:00PM

THE TROUBLE WITH SPACE CANNIBALS is a new comedic play written by Bill Arnold & Scott Stephen Kegler. The show takes place on the deck of the fictional starship, The LeVar Burtonne, and tells the cautionary tale of poor managerial skills amongst starship officers. It’s Star Trek – meets Office Space – meets Lord of the flies.

Auditions will consist of reading sides from the Space Cannibals script. No monologue necessary.


Captain Taryn Estranger – Any age, female. A smart, efficient, but forgetful leader. Taryn is truly “management” in every sense of the word.

Science Officer Wendy Mansplain – Any age, female. Mansplain is the arrogant and infuriating science officer of the starship LeVar Burtonne.

Communications Officer Toto Claro – Any age, female. Claro has been described as “aggressively naive” (She believes that she’s good at her job, but in fact, she has terrible communication skills)

Chief Medical Officer Kilroy – Any age, male. Kilroy probably shouldn’t be a doctor, and certainly shouldn’t be in outer space. A true coward, he hides behind process and rules to avoid having to actually DO anything. Yeah, he’s upper management, alright!

Navigator Sofaa Pullout – any age, male. Sofaa is the alien aboard ship. He is part plant, and can’t shut the hell up about it. He’s very good at his job, but is also self-absorbed.

Engineer – Any age, male (also plays the Commodore later on) The Engineer is the super annoyed IT guy you see at every office. Management pretends he doesn’t exist, but without him, the LeVar Burtonne would be dead in the water…um…space.

Mason Pembrooke, leader of the cannibals – Any age, male. Mason has become a leader in the absence of any other leadership. Like Lord of the Flies, he is pitted against another group. And also like Lord of the Flies, he sports a pretty cool costume of bones. Mason is the comedic antagonist.

Ensign #1 (also plays Simone, and a cannibal) – Any age, female.

Ensign #2 (also plays Security, and a cannibal) – Any age, male.

Long Day’s Journey Into Night

By Eugene O’Neill

Directed by Steven Simpson

Performance Dates: July 17th, 18th, 24th, 25th, 31st, August 1st, 2nd, 7th, & 8th at 8:00PM, August 2nd at 2:00PM
Audition Dates: March 22nd & 23rd at 7:00PM

Auditions will be cold reading sides from the script, no prepared monologues necessary, Roles available are as follows. Please note the role of MARY TYRONE has already been cast.


JAMES TYRONE SR. – 65 years old. He looks ten years younger and is about five feet eight inches tall but appears taller due to his military-like posture and bearing. He is broad-shouldered and deep-chested and remarkably good-looking for his age with light brown eyes. His speech and movement are those of a classical actor with a studied technique, but he is unpretentious and not temperamental at all with “inclinations still close to his humble beginnings and Irish farmer forebears”. His attire is somewhat threadbare and shabby. He wears his clothing to the limit of usefulness. He has been a healthy man his entire life and is free of hang ups and anxieties except for fear of “dying in the poorhouse” and obsession with having money. He has “streaks of sentimental melancholy and rare flashes of intuitive sensibility”. He smokes cigars and dislikes being referred to as the “Old Man” by his sons.

JAMES “JAMIE” JR. – 33 years old, the older son. He has thinning hair, an aquiline nose and shows signs of premature disintegration. He has a habitual expression of cynicism. He resembles his father. “On the rare occasions when he smiles without sneering, his personality possesses the remnant of a humorous, romantic, irresponsible Irish charm – the beguiling ne’er-do-well, with a strain of the sentimentally poetic”. He is attractive to women and popular with men. He is an actor like his father but has difficulty finding work due to a reputation for being an irresponsible, womanizing alcoholic. He and his father argue a great deal about this. Jamie often refers to his father as “Old Gaspard”, a character from the opera Les cloches de Corneville, who is also a miser.

EDMUND – 23 years old, the younger and more intellectually and poetically inclined son. He is thin and wiry. He looks like both his parents but more like his mother. He has her big dark eyes and hypersensitive mouth in a long narrow Irish face with dark brown hair and red highlights from the sun. Like his mother, he is extremely nervous. He is in bad health and his cheeks are sunken. Later he is diagnosed with tuberculosis. He is politically inclined to have socialist leanings. He traveled the world by working in the merchant navy and caught tuberculosis while abroad.

CATHLEEN – “The second girl”, she is the summer maid. She is a “buxom Irish peasant”, in her early twenties with red cheeks, black hair and blue eyes. She is “amiable, ignorant, clumsy with a well-meaning stupidity”.